It has been more than 8 years since my father passed away.
My last words to him were, "You should go. You are in too much pain. I will take care of the family".
Like any good father, he didn't say no. A few minutes later he was gone. His pain was gone too. But that moment has lived on in my memory. I have often wondered if I could've chosen other words. I have wondered if I could have done more. I never had the answers but the questions haunted me.
A year later I visited Lepakshi temple - an ancient ruin from the 15th century.
Couched under the last pillar of the temple, this couple was tending to a seemingly unwell child. With their eyes closed, it seemed like they were offering desperate prayers to the presiding deity.
I took a few pics and then switched off the camera as they seemed disturbed by the shutter noise. As I watched them for about an hour, I wondered if they are any different from me - love, affection, care, and even a solemn prayer are not restricted to the domain of humans. Their pain didn't seem very different from mine. Their bonds didn't seem any weaker than mine. Our brains may have evolved but are our hearts that different?
I returned with a very different understanding of nature and its beings. I could relate to it at a very personal level. I don't know if their prayers were answered. I know though that my hauntings diminished.
In nature, I found a new source of warmth, love, and affection. I found a parent that I will never have to bid goodbye to.
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