Do you agree?

In the human life cycle, we all get inspired by four different relationships at various stages. We follow them, adapt many things from them, and reflect the same in our life.

1. Parents
2. Teachers
3. Bosses 
4. Friends

The kind of influence all four of them have in individual life is immense & it cannot be quantified by any means. 

As we look at things from a professional perspective we can combine all of them in a single word; leader. Here the leader we talk about is whoever holds a responsible position of someone's growth in terms of professional and personal life. 

Leader

It’s the most powerful word that has great value & meaning. At the same time, I would say it is never realized & understood by many rightly. What a leader can do in someone's life is an art to learn & follow. 

Delegation

“the act of delegating a particular job, duty, right, etc. to someone”

We often use this word delegation in our day-to-day life especially related to management lessons and training programs where they talk about how to assign the task to colleagues and subordinates so that they handle things individually and learn more with the growth mindset as well. A lot of time we are happy to delegate the work to others. We expect them to do it themselves without our involvement irrespective of any challenges. We measure them purely based on that as well. 

However, whenever there is a challenge, as a leader we share our views which may not give a happy feeling to that colleague as well as to us. 

Why is it so? Have we shown Care or Control over them?

Let us understand the same with a real story 

Storytime

Is it CARING or CONTROLLING?

I was in consultation with a boss & subordinate. They started fighting right in front of me. The upset Boss said- See this I 'CARE' so much for my team and this is what I get in return (they complain about me)...To which the fuming subordinate replied, he doesn't care. He just 'CONTROLS'...! 

The "CARE" from one person was perceived as "CONTROL" by another! Made me think...

What is CARE and what is CONTROL? How to identify them? Soon I received the answer.

I argued with my teenage son over a trivial disciplinary issue...Harsh words were exchanged leaving both of us upset. After some time, as our emotions settled down, we said sorry to each other...

My Son hugged me and said- Dad, you know why you got upset? You were not upset because I did wrong. But you were upset because I didn't follow your instructions....there is a big difference! I was stunned by his mature thinking pattern. ..I received my answer too... I was trying to control him under the disguise of care...that caused the conflict....

If I really 'CARE' for someone, I will not get upset or angry with that person...I will keep searching for different ways to help that person... If I am struggling in any relationship...I need to closely observe if there is any subtle CONTROL hidden behind my apparent care...because 

Care is an expression of the connection while control is an expression of ego... 

Control cuts...Care connects... Control hurts...Care heals...

Keep caring for people but don't try to control them ... because often people are not wrong...they are just 'different...The day we realize caring is just letting them know no matter what happens, even if they fail or fall many times; you will be there for them as a LEADER. That in simple words is care

Keep caring...!!

Story ends……………..

Leadership lesson

I find the above story threw a great leadership lesson for all of us. In day-to-day work we all know how we react and behave with our colleagues, we carry our mental model about us being great and inspiring leaders whereas unknowingly we might be taking the “controlling instead of caring” approach with our team. 

It’s time for us to self-evaluate & introspect about our approach, take a fair and open view from teammates to genuinely understand if we are caring or controlling them. As long as the assigned task or work is done by your colleague within the boundaries of SOP, Guidelines & code of conduct of the organization, a leader should be happy about it & he should praise him instead of expecting him to do it as per his instruction.

There are many styles of leadership people talk & teach about in various learning, training sessions.

I feel the “care over control” is the key aspect to follow by any leader.

A small video about LEADERS. 

Ladder

 “Tool that is used for climbing up and enable us to hold stronger whenever we move up from the ground”

Did you realize ladder and leader both words have a great connection & it performs a similar role in human life at various stages? Hence it is important to understand this logic and act accordingly.

The genuine leader plays the role of a ladder in people's lives.

To conclude

We have seen and been inspired by many popular leaders in our life. A lot of us aspire to become leaders of such caliber in our journeys.

I am sure these popular leaders would have shown more care than control attitude in their approach which could have transformed them into great leaders.

Be a parent or teacher or Leader or friend whatever is our current role in our life we should choose CARE over CONTROL as our approach and we should act as a LADDER in people lives. 

Hope you like this article, do share your views and experiences about the leaders you have come across which will benefit the readers…………

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